


someone you'd admire

by enchantinghost



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, One Shot, Pining, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 4, a river would sooner change its course than catra admitting her feelings to herself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantinghost/pseuds/enchantinghost
Summary: this is just a little one shot i wrote last summer when i was busy feeling emo about catra. i wanted to explore the brief moment she had after fighting hordak, before glimmer shows up. i wondered if she might be a tiiiiiny bit real with herself. been debating for awhile if i should post it, but figured it's better than doing nothing with it lol. i hope you enjoy!!title is from "someone you'd admire" by the fleet foxes. so many of my ships fit to that song lol, but it hurts especially bad for these two
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 7





	someone you'd admire

The heat radiating from the broken boulder at her back was sobering. Where it met the floor, small rock shards clung to an unknown, greasy substance. It was no med bay, but it would do. 

Catra took stock of her injuries. It wasn’t often she had this kind of moment to herself after a fight. But with Hordak losing consciousness, incapacitated under the weight of machinery, and with Double Trouble off to betray her again— no, right, they never even cared enough about her to hurt her—she figured she should use this time wisely. Most of the Horde was off in the field, and those that remained wouldn’t look for her. 

Surprisingly, she hadn’t sustained any damage that would take her out of commission for long. One deeper ache rang of a bruised rib, but there was nothing else that a sturdy compress and coagulant couldn’t fix. Everything else was just smaller bruises and cuts that would have to take their time healing, joining the ranks of the scars already on her body. Nothing new under the sun; the ways she got hurt seemed so cyclical. Always more bark than bite, surface level, quick. She could always retaliate and stand back up, she had to. It was the only reason she’d made it this far.

No one else would back Catra up. Especially not people she thought she could trust. Double Trouble had proved that enough to her. And why had she even trusted them? _I live to serve...for a price, of course_. She’d been an idiot to think they were an ally, letting her feelings, as usual, cloud her judgement. 

It always came back to emotions. No matter how hard she pushed, pulled, and wrenched herself away from them, it was futile. She felt ridiculous. Both for failing to stay in control and admitting it. Catra let her gaze wander, and distantly noted lazy waves making course in the molten material flowing through the middle of the room. Maybe Shadow Weaver was right, maybe she would only ever be Adora’s foil, or worse, her fool. 

_Adora_. Catra recoiled. Pathetic that just a memory could so quickly cause her to lose focus. She slammed the wall to her right with a closed fist, and the impact echoed off the empty cavern. A heartbeat formed in the side of her hand. _Great, more damage_. Isn’t it just like her to get so absorbed in Adora. It was always _her_ making Catra do rash things, the things that, if they succeeded, couldn’t be reversed. If Adora wasn’t careful, she could get herself killed. It would be her own fault. It would be easier for everyone if she quit it with the hero nonsense, the rebellion, the self-righteous friends, and came ho— _no_. Catra couldn’t indulge herself like that. 

It's so simple for Catra to be consumed by dangerous thoughts, from when they were kids to now. _Adora will always be your friend. Adora will always be there. Adora loves you_. More lies she told herself. She was as dumb as she was then as she is now. It never changed: Catra, reaching for Adora’s light with the hands of a child, yearning for warmth; and Adora, oblivious and trying so, so hard to be a good soldier, leader, or She-Ra. It would be so easy to get lost in her, to slip. Couldn’t Catra allow herself a minute to let go? Any second now, a Rebellion member would be closing in, anyway. 

What would it be like if Adora looked into her eyes and liked what she saw again? What if Catra and her could be close again? What if they became… _no_. That was asking too much, even for fantasy. She would be satisfied if, eventually, Adora just simply respected her. That’s it. It would be enough if all she did was stop actively hating Catra. It would be nice, even. 

_She’s making you soft again_ , Catra chuckled to herself. Time to shut this hopeless thought experiment down. Unless she wants the fissure within her to grow, this is how it has to be. And the last thing she needs is another crack in her foundation, threatening to destroy all the work she’s done. Whatever may come to pass, she’s sure it’ll be Adora’s fault. Something booms far away on the surface, a deep and bassy sound in the depths of the Fright Zone. Closing her eyes, Catra tries to tune in and guess which part of her plan is going wrong now. 

She hears a familiar shimmer to her right, and is almost relieved at the distraction it brings. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
